


invasion of privacy

by marmolita



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alcohol, Humor, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marmolita/pseuds/marmolita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, come on.  Name someone <i>on Atlantis</i> you've had sex with once, and you wish you could do it again."</p>
<p>(Just some team bonding via drunkenly discussing sexual exploits.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	invasion of privacy

"Okay, come on. Name someone _on Atlantis_ you've had sex with once, and you wish you could do it again."

"This is a ridiculous invasion of privacy, I'm not going to answer that." Rodney's face had been flushed since he'd knocked back his second shot of vodka, but it was rapidly approaching a particularly unattractive shade of crimson. John leaned over and refilled Rodney's glass.

"I guess the great Dr. McKay hasn't actually been getting any," John joked, causing Rodney to splutter and gulp back more alcohol to buy himself some time to think. Teyla smiled, leaning back against Ronon's shoulder. Ronon had claimed the second bottle of vodka all for himself, and was working his way through it at about the same pace as the other three of them together were drinking the first bottle.

"Come on, Rodney, there must have been someone," Teyla needled. "I've seen you naked before. You certainly have the equipment."

"I-- I--" Rodney dropped his head into his hands. "Fine, you win. Elizabeth."

John whistled and Ronon lifted his bottle in a salute, while Teyla laughed far louder than she normally did and asked, "Only once?"

"Yes, well. She's a very busy woman and has appearances to keep up. What about you, hmm? Only Athosians on your radar?"

Teyla's lips curved in a wicked smile. "Oh, no. I would have to say I'd love another chance at Major Lorne." John choked on his drink and Rodney's jaw dropped. Ronon just nodded appreciatively "He's quite well endow--"

"No! Stop right there," John interrupted, waving his arms. "I do not need to know that kind of detail about my XO."

Teyla laughed, still smiling. "Alright then, _Colonel_ , what about you?"

John raised his glass to Rodney. "I have to go with Rodney on this one. Elizabeth."

" _What?_ " Rodney opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish. "Isn't that an enormous violation of some kind of, I don't know, chain of command rules or something?"

"Why do you think it was only once?"

Rodney blinked at John for a minute, then said, "Well, I _was_ going to be jealous, but I suppose this probably just means that she decided you weren't worth a second chance either."

"Ohhhh, he got you there, Sheppard," Ronon laughed, taking another swig from the bottle.

"Okay, Ronon, your turn," John said, knocking back his own shot and passing the bottle again. "Anyone interesting enough for you to stop training for a quickie?"

Ronon grinned with too many teeth, then elbowed Teyla. "Teyla is right. Lorne has a really sweet a--"

"STOP, no, please god," John muttered. "I didn't hear any of that, just for the record."

"Colonel, do you always let your second in command sleep his way through your team?" Rodney asked sarcastically.

"Don't tell me you're going to take your chances with him too?"

"Catch him after training," Teyla suggested. "That's when Ronon and I--"

" _At the same time_ , jesus christ, guys," John lamented, sinking his head into his hands.

Rodney punched him in the shoulder. "Hey, if you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked." He poured out another drink, then looked at John consideringly. "Do you think Elizabeth would share?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as usual to misswonderheart for brainstorming this with me! I almost had Ronon pick Zalenka ;)


End file.
